Killer Shark Finally Captured

Dozens of local fisherman gathered at a local dock about a mile south of Amity to hunt down the killer shark that has been terrorizing the local waters.

After two deaths of Chrissie Watson and Alex Kitner, police were forced to close down the beaches in order to protect the public.

This all started last night at the Town meeting, where the reward for $3,000 was announced. “Are you going to close the beaches or not?” asked a concerned citizen at the meeting. After what appeared to be a strained response, Police chief Martin Brody could only respond with “yes, we are.”

In the midst of the uproar, Ben Quint dragged his nails across the chalkboard to get everyone’s attention. “You all know me, you all know what I do for a living,” said Quint. “I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy.”

There was some disturbance in the crowd but Quirt silenced them, continuing, “but it’s not going to be pleasant, and I value my neck more than $3,000. I’ll find him for 3,000, but I’ll catch him and kill him for 10.”

Quint was not seen with the party that caught the supposed killer shark.

The caught shark, a large nurse shark, was identified by Matt Hooper, a marine biologist from Woods Hole, Mass. Oceanographic institute. “Nurse sharks are among the most brutal and dangerous of all sharks and have been reputable for hundreds of swimmers deaths,” said police.
 

Chief Brody has given the all clear for the beaches to open again, and just in time for the Fourth of July rush to the beaches. There will still be shark monitors out on the waters, however. “They are simply a safety precaution that we hope will put our visitors at ease,” said police.

If anyone spots a shark, the police have set up a hotline, 1-800-sharksee in order for the public to inform them of any unusual shark sightings.